Dating your wife during separation
As a step before divorce, physical separation has emotional and legal implications that you need to understand.Decisions made during separation often become stamped in stone, and anyone separating without the appropriate strategizing and protections can suffer unpleasant repercussions for years.If you and your spouse are quite certain that your separation is temporary, and that you will be using the time to reconcile, a casual attitude may work well.You can date your spouse, even have sex with your spouse—because as far as you are concerned, divorce is not in the cards. If you have filed for a fault divorce, you may lose grounds for divorce in your state if you date or have sexual relations with your spouse during a period of separation.Unfortunately, her husband began feeling so resentful when she really left that, ultimately, he could not accept her back into his life.
Not quite permanent or irrevocable, separation enables the two individuals to get a taste of what it would be like to exist apart—to manage separate households, separate finances, and separate selves.Many times, couples will separate in hopes of saving a marriage. After all, just getting distance from a painful, antagonistic situation can provide you with enough perspective to come back together weeks or months later and sort things out. The man, a newspaper reporter, left his wife in Boston and went on assignment in Russia for a year.Their marriage had been on the rocks, but during the year apart, the two developed an email correspondence that brought them new intimacy and understanding.It merits saying up front that separation, physical or legal, does not always lead to divorce.Sometimes separation can be a time of forgiveness and renewed commitment.
If you enter separation believing it is just what you need to heal your marriage, you may be kidding yourself.